Joy

It was a day just like any other. Went to the canteen and came back with out buying anything. Went close to a room and walked away without knocking. Just like any other day, I wished that when I open my door and step inside, a miracle might happen. But having been dissappointed for all these days, I started preparing myself to curl up in bed, all alone and wet from rain and tears drenching my clothes equally, with grief soaking through my skin. Nothing ever happens on this earth. I never got to see a black colored flower that can walk tiptoe on its stalk or a bird that can talk or a snake that looks into your eyes and makes you see your future. I am not yearning for magic or power or to know my destiny. I .... I am back to my same old room now. I open it and without giving any regard to objects prearranged inside, I stepped in and locked the door. I turned back to find a fur ball sitting on my bed. "What the...", I said to myself. As if in response, the wolf raised its head from between its curled up bushy tail and body and looked at me. "Oh! you are back. Forgive me for breaking in", it said. I was startled, I admit. But I was not surprised. What with wishing for a miracle to happen all these days. And when it happened, it would be impolite to show surprise or fear. I really did not care for the consequences; get eaten, get taken into a magical world, get cursed or blessed or told future or whatever may happen, I really did not care. If the wolf now said that it could grant my wishes I would say that it already has been, that I am content and want nothing else. With all these thoughts running in my head, I started doing what I would have done if the wolf had not been there. I threw myself onto the bed, sat against the wall and started trying to play some melancholic melody on my harmonica. "Typical of you. I thought coming to this world would have atleast made you talkative, Raven", the wolf spoke again, coming close to me and curling against me. It felt warm, unusually warm. Instinctly, I put a hand on the fur and patted it. "You are mistaken, wolf maiden. I am not Raven. I am a human. Or better still, a dead human", I said. "Hmmm. I should have realised it after seeing that black depiction of a raven. You are probably worshipping it. So you could not be Raven herself, eh?", the wolf spoke with sarcasm. "Don't you see, I am not a girl. Don't you see? Do I look like your Raven?", I said. Weird that tears started rolling out of my eyes. I had no reason to cry. To deny what I am not, and to assert what I am, is not a reason to cry. And strange still, the wolf beside me began to change form. First the body changing into more humane form and then the face; the snout is gone. A beautiful female with a large wolven ears and big black wolven eyes, that only added to the beauty of the human face. Her tail still remained. "umm.. your tail. you forgot to change it", I said. She looked deep into my eyes and then there was a sudden ring of laughter. There was something about her looks and laughter. The laughter made me want to laugh along. The look calmed me down. It was peaceful. For the first time in my life, I found that long lost peace alone. Ever since I died once, I lost my peace. There was a constant noise in my head. Like a thousand ghosts screaming and whispering. The noise kept me from being any close to any human. Human proximity only made it more terrible. But there was one person who was different. When I am close to her, there is no noise in my head. I can see the blue sky and smell the fragrant flowers and be at peace with myself. But I can not be close to her always. She promised me an evening walk everyday to help me. But the rest of the day I was to bear the pain myself. I never found another person like her. But now, this wolf girl is doing it. The noise in my head is gone. I wanted to ask her who she was and thank her for it, but she was speaking again: "Raven was never mine. Raven was never anybody else's. And no you do not look now, like Raven was before she wanted to be Azure's child."

"Raven was never mine", she iterated with grief in her voice, "I will come again Raven. I will." She smiled. Peace returned to my mind. And along with it, memories returned too. A name lingers on my tongue wanted to be spoken out before she vanishes completely. I held out my hand to touch her finger tips. I barely felt her fingers. She vanished. She came to deliver my wings. She was the only one I entrusted my wings to. She must have been and still is very dear to me. Nothing has changed, yet. All earthen things remain the same. The noise in my head is gone. But then again, I am not a human!
"Yes Sakhi. When you come again, I will go with you".
Tonight, I am going to sleep all warm and content. There wont be any more dreams. 'cause Raven never dreams!

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Raven.